Male, 36
Friday, 14 February 2020

December 5th 2015 my 7 yr relationship with the Love of My Life and mother of my almost 2 yr old little ended when I found out (previously only speculated) she was cheating on me with a past boyfriend. I knew she was hanging out with him only because they shared a child together. Keep in mind I’ve raised this child for the 7 years we were together. He wasn’t in his life because Bad Drugs took over his life and was in and out of jail basically just a straight up deadbeat. One day out of the blue he cleaned himself up and wanted to be in this kids life. She had a secret texting app on her phone that I only stumbled on by pure accident and found out how to access the said app and for the past 5 yrs I have had daily images in my head of what I read that night. As furious as I was and with what I knew I confronted her. I was heartbroken, confused, jealous and my head was a complete mess. I asked her what was going on and she said she accidentally fell back in love with this low life piece of raccoon crap. So I gave her the option of never seeing him again if she was to want to save “Us”... She sat there quietly and said nothing at all. It was very obvious that she was choosing him. I packed up what I could of my belongings in a trash bag. Kissed my little princess grabbed my dog and walked out the door. She moved him in 2 days later. That was the start of her going downhill. Through mutual friends and concerned friends of hers were telling me horror stories of her abusing prescription meds. The thing is that she never even smoked weed and was always careful with any scripts. Through the battles of the courts with custody, father rights, and child support we would see each other and she was looking bad. We had talked one day after a court hearing and she was telling me stories of him taking all sorts of pills and beating on her then BEGGED ME and said “Please come back Home to your family”. As much as I Love Her I was willing to do so only if she went back and told him to leave and never come back. She wouldn’t because he owed her $200. I offered to give her $300 on the spot. Hell I even offered to come by and throw his Ass out. Well guess how that went. 2 days before Fathers Day 2016 I called her and left her a voicemail and text mssg asking if I could see my princess with no reply. 1:05 in the afternoon I get a call from her Best Friend saying that “The Love Of My Life” had pa*sed away from an overdose of Prescription Meds. This has been killing me everyday since. Mutual friends of ours barely speak to me anymore. Her mother and Dad are distant from me. I feel as tho her Death is my fault. I could’ve been her hero/ her Superman and saved her. I Blame Her Untimely Death On Myself... This is the first time I have ever said/wrote anything about it and I have only visited her grave once in the 5 yrs.