Female, 16

i've been non-stop thinking about suicide. all day, all night. to cope, for weeks i've been harming myself. it quiets my mind. but the thoughts just keep coming back, they're so strong and i feel like i'm drowning. i have no one to tell this to, because my parents will hit me and i don't have any friends. online cla*ses prevent me from seeing the counselor, and even so, she was booked all the time (we have to make appointments since covid-19). i don't want to burden my teachers, or make them angry at me. i see no future for myself. there is no light at the end of my tunnel; i am a worthless, disgusting waste of air. but in the end, no matter how much i dream of it, i'm too much of a chicken to even kill myself. it's pathetic.